Home / Perfect Response / Hilarious Replies to “New Phone, Who Dis?” That Slay [2025]

Hilarious Replies to “New Phone, Who Dis?” That Slay [2025]

Hilarious Replies to "New Phone,

“New phone, who dis?” it’s the digital version of a raised eyebrow.

Hey, I’m here—and yes, I’ve heard that classic line way too many times! When it’s an old friend, an ex, or a mystery number sliding into your messages, the phrase “new phone, who dis?” opens the door to some seriously funny responses. And let’s be real, life’s too short for boring replies, right?

Sometimes we don’t feel like giving a straight answer. Sometimes we just want to have fun with it—crack a joke, confuse them a little, or leave them laughing. That’s exactly what I’ve put together here for you: clever, playful, and hilarious ways to answer the infamous question that pops up in texts everywhere.

In this article, you’ll find funny and clever comebacks that you can use in real conversations, keep in your back pocket, or even just enjoy for a laugh. Let’s dive into the wild, witty world of “new phone, who dis?” replies!

Table of Contents

1. “Depends, who’s asking—the FBI or my ex?”

Story: Alex got a random message while chilling with Nina. The sender typed “New phone, who dis?” and Alex fired back this cheeky line.

When to Use: Use this when you genuinely don’t know the sender and want to keep things playful.

When Not to Use: Don’t say this if the message might be from someone important or in a professional tone.

Example:
Random Text: “New phone, who dis?”
Alex: “Depends, who’s asking—the FBI or my ex?”

How to Respond 🗣️ You can follow with, “Now seriously, who is this?”

2. “Guess right and I’ll reply.”

Story: Lily received a cryptic “New phone, who dis?” and decided to make it fun by testing Chris’s memory.

When to Use: Try this when you think the person should know who you are or if you want to tease a friend.

When Not to Use: Avoid it with people who genuinely forgot you or if it’s a new contact.

Example:
Chris: “New phone, who dis?”
Lily: “Guess right and I’ll reply.”

How to Respond 🗣️ After they guess, you can confirm or playfully keep the game going.

3. “Wrong answers only.”

Story: Jake got a dry message late at night from Mia that said, “New phone, who dis?” and he flipped it into a game.

When to Use: Use it when you want a fun twist and keep things creative with a friend.

When Not to Use: Avoid it with serious people or in formal conversations.

Example:
Mia: “New phone, who dis?”
Jake: “Wrong answers only.”

How to Respond 🗣️ Throw out a hilarious name like “Your future landlord.”

4. “It’s Batman. I’ve been watching you.”

Story: Olivia texted Ryan with a blank intro. When Ryan saw “New phone, who dis?” he threw in this dramatic joke.

When to Use: Use this when the mood is casual and the person enjoys a little exaggeration.

When Not to Use: Don’t send it to someone who doesn’t share your humor or might find it creepy.

Example:
Olivia: “New phone, who dis?”
Ryan: “It’s Batman. I’ve been watching you.”

How to Respond 🗣️ Laugh along and reply with “Well, Gotham’s calling.”

5. “Oh good, a mystery—I needed excitement today.”

Story: Nora was having a boring day until Jordan texted “New phone, who dis?” She took it as a challenge.

When to Use: Use this when you want to flip the message into a fun or flirty conversation.

When Not to Use: Don’t say this to someone who might not pick up the sarcasm.

Example:
Jordan: “New phone, who dis?”
Nora: “Oh good, a mystery—I needed excitement today.”

How to Respond 🗣️ Keep it going with “Guess who this is and win a prize.”

6. “Depends… are you rich, single, and emotionally available?”

Story: Ethan received a vague message from Claire. Instead of a basic reply, he decided to shoot his shot in a flirty way.

When to Use: Perfect for casual chats or when you’re feeling cheeky with someone who has a sense of humor.

When Not to Use: Avoid using this with coworkers, older relatives, or anyone you don’t want to flirt with.

Example:
Claire: “New phone, who dis?”
Ethan: “Depends… are you rich, single, and emotionally available?”

How to Respond 🗣️ If they play along, say something like, “Well, in that case… we should talk.”

7. “It’s me, your unpaid therapist.”

Story: Maddie texted Liam out of nowhere with the usual “New phone, who dis?” and Liam remembered all the venting she’d done before.

When to Use: Use this with friends who always talk about their problems and need a reminder—in a funny way.

When Not to Use: Don’t say it to someone going through a hard time or if you haven’t spoken in a while.

Example:
Maddie: “New phone, who dis?”
Liam: “It’s me, your unpaid therapist.”

How to Respond 🗣️ Reply with, “Oh good, I need another session.”

8. “Someone you owe coffee to.”

Story: Zoe messaged Dylan after ghosting him for a week. He decided to tease her with this light comeback.

When to Use: Great for playful guilt-tripping a friend or someone who flaked on plans.

When Not to Use: Avoid this if the other person doesn’t actually owe you anything or if things ended badly.

Example:
Zoe: “New phone, who dis?”
Dylan: “Someone you owe coffee to.”

How to Respond 🗣️ Say, “Okay okay, coffee’s on me next time.”

9. “Guess who just got out of witness protection?”

Story: Grace sent a dry message to Josh after months of no contact. Josh broke the ice with humor and a spy-themed joke.

When to Use: Fun when reconnecting with someone after a long time or joking about your own disappearance.

When Not to Use: Avoid it if the person won’t understand the joke or is too literal.

Example:
Grace: “New phone, who dis?”
Josh: “Guess who just got out of witness protection?”

How to Respond 🗣️ Play along with “Did they finally find your double?”

10. “It’s me. Your favorite regret.”

Story: Bella randomly texted Noah late at night. Noah, knowing they had history, dropped this bold and sarcastic line.

When to Use: Use it when talking to an ex or someone you flirted with before and want to keep the vibe spicy.

When Not to Use: Don’t use this if things ended in a serious or painful way.

Example:
Bella: “New phone, who dis?”
Noah: “It’s me. Your favorite regret.”

How to Respond 🗣️ Laugh it off with “I knew it would be you.”

11. “Your future ex… or current bestie. You decide.”

Story: Olivia received a dry message from Nathan, and she decided to mix mystery with sass to get his attention.

When to Use: Use this when you’re keeping things flirty or fun, especially if you’re not sure where the convo is going.

When Not to Use: Skip it if the person is very formal or if it’s a professional contact.

Example:
Nathan: “New phone, who dis?”
Olivia: “Your future ex… or current bestie. You decide.”

How to Respond 🗣️ Laugh it off with, “Either way, I hope there’s snacks involved.”

See also: Effective Professional Responses to “How’s It Going?”

12. “Just your conscience checking in.”

Story: Alex randomly messaged Harper late at night, and Harper decided to throw this unexpected zinger back.

When to Use: Use it playfully when someone messages at odd times or seems confused.

When Not to Use: Don’t say it if the person is in real distress or seeking serious help.

Example:
Alex: “New phone, who dis?”
Harper: “Just your conscience checking in.”

How to Respond 🗣️ Add, “Okay, I’m deleting all my bad choices now.”

13. “The voice inside your head finally texting back.”

Story: Mason received a text from Lily, who hadn’t saved his number. He went full dramatic with this quirky line.

When to Use: Great for sarcastic or playful replies that mess with the mood.

When Not to Use: Avoid if the person is easily confused or takes things literally.

Example:
Lily: “New phone, who dis?”
Mason: “The voice inside your head finally texting back.”

How to Respond 🗣️ Play along with, “You’re louder than I remember.”

14. “The person who beat you in Mario Kart last week.”

Story: Taylor texted Brooke but forgot to save his number. Brooke used their recent game night as a fun memory prompt.

When to Use: Use this when you’ve recently hung out and want to bring back a shared moment.

When Not to Use: Don’t use it if you haven’t met yet or the person doesn’t game.

Example:
Taylor: “New phone, who dis?”
Brooke: “The person who beat you in Mario Kart last week.”

How to Respond 🗣️ Tease back with, “That was one lucky round!”

15. “The reason your phone got hotter.”

Story: Natalie messaged Leo late in the evening. He chose a bold and flirtatious response to keep the energy alive.

When to Use: Ideal for flirty vibes or when you want to catch someone off guard in a fun way.

When Not to Use: Avoid it with people who aren’t into flirtation or don’t know you well.

Example:
Natalie: “New phone, who dis?”
Leo: “The reason your phone got hotter.”

How to Respond 🗣️ Reply with, “Well, hello heatwave.”

16. “Someone with better Wi-Fi and funnier jokes.”

Story: Emma sent Jay a dry text after resetting her phone. Jay didn’t miss a beat and turned it into a playful flex.

When to Use: Great when you’re trying to keep the convo light and toss in some humor about tech or personality.

When Not to Use: Avoid it if the other person is older or won’t get the sarcasm.

Example:
Emma: “New phone, who dis?”
Jay: “Someone with better Wi-Fi and funnier jokes.”

How to Respond 🗣️ Say, “Prove it. Make me laugh.”

17. “Me. The plot twist in your boring evening.”

Story: Chloe was just relaxing when Ryan messaged out of nowhere. She wanted to spark something fun, so she got creative.

When to Use: Use this when you want to turn a dry convo into something exciting and unexpected.

When Not to Use: Don’t say it if the person is actually dealing with something serious.

Example:
Ryan: “New phone, who dis?”
Chloe: “Me. The plot twist in your boring evening.”

How to Respond 🗣️ Add, “Guess I needed a little chaos.

18. “You know, the upgrade your contact list needed.”

Story: Asher replied to Ruby’s random message and took the chance to hype himself in a fun, confident tone.

When to Use: Use this when you’re feeling bold and want to bring confident energy into the convo.

When Not to Use: Don’t use it if you’re reconnecting after drama or tension.

Example:
Ruby: “New phone, who dis?”
Asher: “You know, the upgrade your contact list needed.”

How to Respond 🗣️ Tease back with, “Let’s see what version you are.”

19. “Just your favorite person, back to steal your snacks.”

Story: Hazel messaged Logan after not texting for days. Logan kept it silly and food-related—knowing she’d laugh.

When to Use: Ideal for friends or close ones who joke around or have running inside jokes.

When Not to Use: Skip it with someone formal or if food jokes are out of context.

Example:
Hazel: “New phone, who dis?”
Logan: “Just your favorite person, back to steal your snacks.”

How to Respond 🗣️ Laugh and say, “Only if you bring your own next time.”

20. “It’s me—plotting our next unforgettable moment.”

Story: Zoe messaged Luca without saving his number again. He turned it into a mysterious and romantic lead-in.

When to Use: Great for flirty or deeper convos where you want to hint at connection and chemistry.

When Not to Use: Avoid if the other person isn’t into romance or if the relationship is purely platonic.

Example:
Zoe: “New phone, who dis?”
Luca: “It’s me—plotting our next unforgettable moment.”

How to Respond 🗣️ Say, “I’m intrigued. Do tell.”

21. “It’s me, your future favorite notification.”

Story: Mason popped back into Lily’s texts after a long break. She didn’t save his number, so he replied with charm.

When to Use: Perfect for someone you’re trying to reconnect with in a sweet, flirty way.

When Not to Use: Skip it if the person didn’t enjoy chatting before or was ghosted.

Example:
Lily: “New phone, who dis?”
Mason: “It’s me, your future favorite notification.”

How to Respond 🗣️ Say, “That’s a strong claim—prove it.”

22. “You deleted me? That’s a bold strategy.”

Story: Ava was messing around and pretended not to know Oliver. He called her out in the funniest way.

When to Use: Use this if you’re close with the person and want to tease them a little.

When Not to Use: Don’t use it if you’re unsure whether they actually forgot you.

Example:
Ava: “New phone, who dis?”
Oliver: “You deleted me? That’s a bold strategy.”

How to Respond 🗣️ Reply with, “Had to make room for new drama.”

23. “Someone you forgot but your phone couldn’t.”

Story: Noah got a message from Aria after weeks of no contact. He took a cheeky jab with this clever line.

When to Use: Best when you want to mix sarcasm and humor without sounding upset.

When Not to Use: Don’t say it if you genuinely feel hurt—it might send mixed signals.

Example:
Aria: “New phone, who dis?”
Noah: “Someone you forgot but your phone couldn’t.”

How to Respond 🗣️ Smile and say, “Phones have better memory than I do.”

24. “Just the person who made your contact list cooler.”

Story: Natalie claimed she lost her contacts. Tyler used this as an opportunity to throw a humble brag.

When to Use: Fun for light flirting or showing off a confident vibe.

When Not to Use: Avoid it if the other person seems annoyed or cold.

Example:
Natalie: “New phone, who dis?”
Tyler: “Just the person who made your contact list cooler.”

How to Respond 🗣️ Say, “So humble… I almost missed it.”

25. “Guess you deleted VIP numbers now?”

Story: Jacob saw Mia online after she reset her phone. He poked fun at her memory loss with this quick line.

When to Use: Ideal if you’ve joked with someone before or shared a flirty tone.

When Not to Use: Don’t send it if they genuinely forgot and feel bad about it.

Example:
Mia: “New phone, who dis?”
Jacob: “Guess you deleted VIP numbers now?”

How to Respond 🗣️ Say, “I reset, not downgraded.”

26. “The plot twist you didn’t see coming.”

Story: Zoey forgot to back up her contacts and got surprised by a message from Adam. He made a dramatic return with this punchy line.

When to Use: Use when you want to create a bit of mystery or flair while reintroducing yourself.

When Not to Use: Avoid if the person doesn’t like surprises or takes things too literally.

Example:
Zoey: “New phone, who dis?”
Adam: “The plot twist you didn’t see coming.”

How to Respond 🗣️ Say, “Alright, hit me with the next chapter.”

27. “The person who made you laugh last Tuesday.”

Story: Chloe randomly texted Liam, who decided to playfully remind her why he mattered in her inbox.

When to Use: Fun when you want to stir memory and humor into the conversation.

When Not to Use: Don’t try this if your last convo wasn’t funny or memorable.

Example:
Chloe: “New phone, who dis?”
Liam: “The person who made you laugh last Tuesday.”

How to Respond 🗣️ Say, “Ah, yes! That was a good one.”

28. “The name you shouldn’t have erased.”

Story: Ava changed phones and didn’t carry over all contacts. Jaxon dropped this line with mock offense.

When to Use: Best if you have a fun, teasing friendship or flirty bond with the person.

When Not to Use: Avoid it if they’re already feeling awkward or regretful.

Example:
Ava: “New phone, who dis?”
Jaxon: “The name you shouldn’t have erased.”

How to Respond 🗣️ Say, “Oops, blame the cloud.”

29. “A voice from your funnier past.”

Story: Ethan reappeared after months of silence. Olivia didn’t recognize the number, so he sent this poetic gem.

When to Use: Great for reconnecting with someone from your lighter or fun past.

When Not to Use: Don’t use it if your last convo ended on a negative note.

Example:
Olivia: “New phone, who dis?”
Ethan: “A voice from your funnier past.”

How to Respond 🗣️ Say, “And still bringing the laughs, I see.”

30. “The contact your phone regrets losing.”

Story: Mia pretended she didn’t remember Leo. He turned it into a phone-personification roast.

When to Use: Use it when you want to sound confident, charming, and slightly cheeky.

When Not to Use: Avoid it if the other person seems irritated or uninterested.

Example:
Mia: “New phone, who dis?”
Leo: “The contact your phone regrets losing.”

How to Respond 🗣️ Say, “Wow, my phone has good taste.”

See also: Witty Responses to “Are You Happy?” Questions

31. “The funnier version of your last contact.”

Story: Emma replaced her phone and didn’t recognize Caleb’s number. He clapped back with a bold line.

When to Use: Use it to compete playfully with whoever they’re chatting with now.

When Not to Use: Skip it if you’re not sure how your humor will land.

Example:
Emma: “New phone, who dis?”
Caleb: “The funnier version of your last contact.”

How to Respond 🗣️ Say, “Let’s see if you can back that up.”

32. “Definitely not spam—unless it’s charming spam.”

Story: Harper texted Sam after a number change. He responded with this quirky line.

When to Use: Fun for easing into conversations with a unique twist.

When Not to Use: Don’t try this if the person actually thinks you’re a bot.

Example:
Harper: “New phone, who dis?”
Sam: “Definitely not spam—unless it’s charming spam.”

How to Respond 🗣️ Say, “Okay, spam me with charm then.”

33. “Your favorite mystery number returns.”

Story: Bella didn’t save Nathan’s contact, so he leaned into the unknown and made it work.

When to Use: Best when your identity is still a bit of a mystery or joke between you.

When Not to Use: Avoid it if they really need to know who’s texting seriously.

Example:
Bella: “New phone, who dis?”
Nathan: “Your favorite mystery number returns.”

How to Respond 🗣️ Say, “Should I be scared or excited?”

34. “The message your phone missed the most.”

Story: Zoe hadn’t heard from Miles in weeks. He showed up in her inbox with this feel-good line.

When to Use: Use it when you want to bring some warmth or affection into the chat.

When Not to Use: Don’t use it if you haven’t actually been missed.

Example:
Zoe: “New phone, who dis?”
Miles: “The message your phone missed the most.”

How to Respond 🗣️ Say, “Aww, my phone has good taste.”

35. “Didn’t expect your favorite texter, huh?”

Story: Mia forgot Alex’s number during a mass delete. He bounced back with confidence and humor.

When to Use: Use when you’re close or want to make a confident, cheeky impression.

When Not to Use: Don’t try it with someone who might not appreciate playful boldness.

Example:
Mia: “New phone, who dis?”
Alex: “Didn’t expect your favorite texter, huh?”

How to Respond 🗣️ Say, “Well, now that you mention it… welcome back.”

Conclusion

Sometimes, a simple text like “new phone, who dis?” deserves more than a boring answer. It’s the perfect moment to show your sense of humor, be clever, or just mess with the sender a little in a lighthearted way, of course. Whether you go with a sassy reply, a sarcastic twist, or a totally confusing comeback, your response can turn an ordinary text into a moment worth remembering.

Humor connects people, breaks awkwardness, and gives you a chance to own the conversation with style. With the funny replies shared in this article, you’ll never run out of creative ways to keep it fun when that message shows up again.

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